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Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting at my desk, finishing preparation for a Mountaineers seminar and getting ready to take Ajax out for a walk. An email subject line caught my eye: “Congratulations: 2025 Mountaineers Service Award.”

My jaw dropped.
Wait, what? Could it be?

Heart thump. Click. Scan.

Me. They chose me.

The Email That Stopped Me in My Tracks

I actually whispered it into the quiet room: “Holy smokes, they picked me. Did you-” Doug looked up from the other computer. I told him, half-laughing, half-breathless. He quickly said he hadn’t nominated me for the Mountaineers Service Award. Which sent my mind tumbling through a list of possibilities: Was it someone on the hiking committee? The CHS folks? Someone from the Naturalists? Outdoor Leadership group? A Mountaineers magazine person? A friend from the trails (I mentioned the nominating process to two)?

The fact that I could name half a dozen possible people or committees in ten seconds felt like the real prize. It means I have deep roots here. Community. Threads woven into thirty-three years of showing up in boots, in classrooms, on Zoom, in the rain, in the snow, in the thick of life.

Recognition showed up not because I chased it, but because I lived into it.

Desire for the Mountaineers Service Award, Fulfilled

And yet I’ll tell the honest truth: I wanted it. Badly.

Respect and recognition are my love languages. Parents don’t get thanks. Entrepreneurs seldom do. So much of life is quiet labor, invisible effort. To have this organization — this place that shaped me and held me and challenged me since October of 1992 — say, We see you, we honor you felt as joyful as stepping into the mountains I visit every Tuesday.

Not the kind of huge you shout about, but the kind you breathe into.
A deep exhale, a quiet yes.

Quiet Effort, Deep Roots

I didn’t even know about the Mountaineers service award when I spent 500 hours leading 36 hikes this year. My mantra has always been mountains heal. I’d go whether others joined or not. But when someone does join, when I get to help a hiker fall in love with snow or push past doubt or find their trail legs again after injury, that’s its own joy. Being chosen for this award feels like the universe saying, Keep going. Be your authentic self. Your way is the only one that works.

Granite Lakes hike

I felt the universe sending me a message on the Granite Lakes trail Tuesday morning, providing three inches of snow weighting boughs to the ground. As the terrain shifted to white, I paused to ask how everyone felt about continuing. That edge where learning lives… that’s where I like to guide people. Not into fear, never into danger, but right where confidence grows.

We continued more slowly, and you could see it land in them: we got this. Snow became their teacher. The trail became their classroom. The quiet muffled landscape revealed a pair of evening grosbeaks — turning me giddy as a child in a candy shop. I lead and have fun. Or perhaps it’s become “I lead to have fun.”

Rehab to Ready Neuroscience Seminar

I felt another message Wednesday night at our Rehab to Ready workshop. Doug introduced us and, unexpectedly, shared the news of the award. The room of twenty-one participants burst into applause and “oh, wow”s. I bowed my head, surprised and a little embarrassed. We got right down to work, teaching our students a new way to see training with a system focused, brain-body approach, rather than a traditional injured part approach. To honor their bodies and get back outside doing what they love. That’s the meaty stuff. Not applause, but impact.

Visit to Asheville to See My Parents

And I felt the same grace a week ago in Asheville (my previous visit was in March) as I raked and mulched my parents’ yard and helped load firewood into Dad’s trusted Toyota pick-up. Other times, I helped Mom clean up after dinner, play some Scrabble, and assemble some jigsaw puzzles, or accompanied her to a PT appointment to offer home suggestions. A “vacation” week that became a service week — while feeding my soul. Because showing up for the people you love is its own mountain.

Belonging, Worthiness, and the Courage to Shine

So yes, when the email came, I got choked up. Not because the Mountaineers Service award makes me any better, but because being seen makes me feel… steady. Worthy. Like what I do matters, that I belong among those I once looked up to from below the proverbial ridge.

And, yes, the whispers crept in too: What if they got it wrong? What if I can’t live up to it?

But right behind those thoughts came the quiet voice that has been growing in me these past few years — from coaching, from hiking solo, from trusting Spirit and sparrows and springtime thaws:

When I get out of my own way, good things flow.
When I shrink, the world shrinks too.
I want the light.

Leonard Cohen said, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” I am full of cracks. But I keep rising, keep stepping into my boots, keep teaching, keep trying, keep loving these beautiful mountains and the people who visit them.

Beyond the Mountaineers Service Award: What’s Next

I don’t know exactly what’s next. And that’s scary. But if I can step forward confidently on snow-covered trails, surely I can step do the same with my life.

I know this: I have community, I have capability, and I have creativity. When I trust those things, doors open. Trails appear. Snow falls softly, sometimes showing the path but often inviting me to carve my own way, to explore, to play.

I didn’t earn this award by becoming someone new.
I earned it by being who I already was. Who I have been for over 30 years.

And next Tuesday, I’ll lace up again. And again. It’s who I am, who I will always be.
Just doing me.

Reflection Invitation

If this post has you wanting to reflect, yourself, consider journaling from one of the following prompts. Or share your experience as you read this blog post. I love hearing from readers.

1. When have I shown up consistently for something I love, even (or especially) when no one was watching?
   What did that dedication teach me? Is there something I’m yearning to do, even if others judge it as not worth the time?
2. What recognition or acknowledgment would feel meaningful for me right now, and why?
   Is it about validation, belonging, pride, or being seen? Can I give myself that recognition or ask for what I need?
3. Where do I feel called to step forward with more light and less shrinking?
   What small brave action might I take this month? this week? today?
4. What does “Just being me” evoke for you?